shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
