omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
