how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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