Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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