so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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