Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
