This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize