Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
