I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
