i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
