Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We are all done wearing pants today
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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