We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
