When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
