I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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