im drinking this country out of the recession.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
