Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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