Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
