Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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