that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize