How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this beer tastes like vomit already
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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