I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
