i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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