It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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