she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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