But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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