I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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