just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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