Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
