I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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