hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
this just has baby written all over it
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Found your dick twin last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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