It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
