margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
