Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
