worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They have beer where we have blood.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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