I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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