I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
