Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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