I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
