So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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