so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
