i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
