i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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