after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
