First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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