i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
