"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
