so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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