You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
