I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
