Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
