Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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