apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
