we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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