i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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