OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
