Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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