Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize