If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
