yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
