i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize