Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
