Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
