My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize