At least make sure they are 18
Why
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
