Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
